


Fixing the Final Gift

by Yamiga



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-03 10:44:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2848079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yamiga/pseuds/Yamiga
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After months of lying to and avoiding Hide, Kaneki attempts to surprise his best friend on Christmas Eve. Things between the two are unluckily, not as tight as they should be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fixing the Final Gift

**Author's Note:**

> This couple needs some Christmas love.

This by far had to be the most nerve wrecking thing Kaneki had ever done.

 

Six months ago, if you asked him, he'd cower away from the idea of standing in front of Hide's door, ready to confess and tell him everything. On Christmas Eve of all days. Now however, the half ghoul was mentally preparing himself for what had to be done.

 

He needed to make things right, and after hours of thinking and serious denial, he decided that tonight, was the right night. He hadn't told the others where he was going, he simply slipped out while they all talked about what they'd do the next day. What they'd do on Christmas day. Touka suggested having a party at the cafe which everyone agreed to do.

 

Kaneki supposed that would've been fun to sit through however, he had allowed that constricting guilt to creep up in his system.

 

It was painful to know that he'd abandoned Hide for almost a whole year. Through festivals, carnivals, firework shows...hell, even Hide's own birthday. He just couldn't live with the fact that he'd abandon Hide on Christmas.

 

So there he was, ready to make things right. With one hand hand itching his white hair, and with another just inches away from the door, he took a deep breath.

 

_Just do it Kaneki..._

 

He knocked, softly. He drew his hand back and waited. Thirty seconds later, when nothing happened, Kaneki knocked again. This time, with a harder force.

 

“Hide...” He began to call, but heard the shuffle of someone inside. “H..Hide_”

 

There was a louder noise this time, a crash almost. Kaneki jumped back a bit after hearing shards of glass drop to the ground.

 

_Is Hide in trouble?_ Well he didn't take the time to ask. Quickly without much thought, Kaneki kicked the door in. He rushed through the feeble threshold in panic. The living room interior was dark but he could make out that things had fallen. He also smelled the faint scent of blood, fresh blood.

 

“Hide! Hide!” Kaneki had activated his kakugan in a nervous frenzy, stepping over things and searching for a light. Fear began to drip from his body in the form of cold sweat. He smelled Hide, but then again he didn't. Maybe his senses were dulling or something, maybe he was just...

 

The sound of someone stepping on the glass prompted him to freeze. Blood rushing through his veins and reflexes sharpening, Kaneki turned around. Popping his knuckles and taking another a cold breath in, he quickly lunged towards the source of the sound.

 

Many things followed his actions.

A small lamp light turned on, and seconds later a terrified yell could be heard over Kaneki tackling someone. The half ghoul, to crazed to focus was unclear of the person who presently lay under him. It took a violent trash and a pleaful yell for him to finally come back to his senses.

 

“Ken! KEN!” Hide practically cried as he attempted to get Kaneki's attention. “Get off of me!” Kaneki's heart skipped several beats at that moment. He gulped many times before quickly crawling off of his petrified blond friend.

 

“Hide...” He sat nearly inches away from him. “Oh my God...I didn't know...”

 

“It's fine.” Hide , now gathered, looked away as he hugged his knees to his chest. “Just leave it...”

 

Kaneki stared in both shock and guilt as he saw large cuts and slices on Hide's arms. “Hide! Did I_”

 

“No.” Hide, seeming to just notice his visible arms, looked away. “It's my fault...it's...it's nothing.” The blond stood up and slowly limped over to another lamp. As he turned it on, Kaneki could see pieces of glass scattered across the floor. It appeared they were from beer bottles. In addition, he also realized that Hide's feet were cut.

 

He stood and quickly rushed over this his friend who had eventually collapsed on the couch. “Hide, your feet...I'll go get some band aids_”

 

“Kaneki_”

 

“And we can fix your arms.” Kaneki had a bad feeling that Hide was responsible for the wounds on his arms. “Just give me a second_”

 

“Ken! Just listen for a minute! Please!” Hide didn't really yell, but he did raise his voice. This was enough to get Kaneki to stop dead in his tracks and stare. The blond closed his tired eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again. “Why are you here?”

 

“What...I just wanted...” Kaneki felt a stone drop in his stomach. “I wanted to see you.”

 

“Why don't you just go back to your friends at Antieku?” It wasn't in a spiteful way Hide spoke, but an almost apologetic way. He wore a hopeful smile. 

 

“Hide, how do you know about that?” Kaneki's tone took a shocked turn. “Did someone tell you?” He took a few steps forward as Hide continued.

 

“I've known about them for a while. I mean...you're my friend Kaneki. I couldn't just stop following you...I looked around Anteiku every so often, and saw you there. You were with Nishki-san, Touka-chan, some guy with purple hair and others...I'm pretty sure they're all ghouls but I don't know...”

 

Kaneki felt like crying. “Why didn't you say anything?”

 

“Because you seemed so happy around them Ken. Happier than you ever seemed around me. You know, the thing about being best friends is knowing when your friend is happy. You were happy with them...I guess becoming a ghoul made you...”

 

“Becoming a ghoul?” Kaneki's tone actually turned. “Don't say that so casually Hide, like you understand.” He found a strange anger rise in the pit of his chest. 

 

“I don't understand. I just mean that...if...” Hide's words started to trip. “I know for certain Nishiki-san is a ghoul, and so is Touka-chan...so are the others. Even the little girl you hang around...if they're all ghouls...”

 

_Hinami...how does he know about Hinami....Did someone tell him...Did he tell...._ Kaneki wasn't sure what took over him, but all of a sudden he had grabbed Hide by the collar. The blond's eyes opened so wide that they should've popped out of his head. 

 

“How do you know about Hinami!? How do you know about us!” He began to violently shake Hide, countless times demanding an answer. Hide continued to scream and attempt to reason with Kaneki, but this didn't work.

 

_Kill him! He's a threat to you! To your new life!_ A voice in the back of Kaneki's head cooed.  _You won't even miss him!_

 

And then something clicked. Maybe it was the fact that he remembered what he came here for, or the tears now glistening down Hide's cheeks. But Kaneki, seeing just what he had done, finally released Hide. The petrified blond plummeted to the couch. His first source of safety was a pillow, which he clenched to like a life source.

 

Kaneki just stood there, feeling more like an idiot than before. “Hide_”

 

“Go Kaneki! Please!” He pointed towards the door. “I...I'm not good for you! I don't want to make you angry! Go with your friends, be happy okay? I..I'll be okay.” He was shivering and his words were slurred. He was just a nervous mess.

 

“No.” Kaneki knew he had no right to go against Hide, but he couldn't leave things like this. He took a few steps forward and sat on the couch next to his friend. Hide's bloody feet began to soak the couch and his arms did the same to the pillow. “Hide, I'm so sorry. I had no right to lash out like that...”

 

“I should not have been spying on you. I should have just been supportive...”

 

“You had every right to know Hide, what happened...I had no right to shut you out like I did.” Kaneki scooted towards Hide and took a chance, gently pulling the blond into an embrace. It shocked him to feel how thin Hide was. He couldn't remember the last time the two had been this close, but Hide certainly wasn't skin and bones. “Those guys are really important to me.”

 

“I know.” Hide whispered. “I should've known.”

 

“But you're a hell of a lot more important than they are. Hide you mean everything to me...and I'm sorry I've been an asshole to you. Things are just crazy I guess! You may have noticed my hair is white and I'll get to that later but I've had bad mood swings, I've lashed out...I've just been...not myself lately. Not even with them. I just feel like with you, things will get better...”

 

He hadn't even noticed tears staining his shirt, or how uncontrollable Hide's trembles were now. “It's....it's fine! Don't worry!” He looked up at Kaneki. “I'm..g...glad you're alright! I've just missed you so much!”

“Hide, calm down...it's okay...shh...” Kaneki found himself in the same situation he was in when Hinami was going through her aggressive depression. Sometimes, he'd find her collapsed, in a pool of her own tears.

 

Hide, that Christmas Eve, wasn't much different. And as Kaneki embraced him, he began to just scratch the surface of the problems his friend faced. Now that he could focus, all around, he saw empty bottles of alcoholic beverages on the ground. Some were shattered, leaving shards in their wake, others were half empty.

 

_Oh Hide...is this what's happened to you. Did I lead you to this?_

 

“Your arms...why are your arms so messed up? Hide please tell me.” Kaneki squeezed Hide a bit tighter. 

 

Hide, who had stopped crying took a deep breath. “Like I said...” He laughed. “It's been rough...um...sometimes, it just happens I guess. The scars, and bruises...I kind of have a drinking problem and...well, I take a few sips and things go dark. I wake up in my own blood and filth, it's just really embarrassing.” 

 

Kaneki didn't know what to say. He took a few seconds before distancing himself from Hide. Hopping off of the couch, he made way to Hide's utility closet where he withdrew a broom. Hide was still laying on the couch when Kaneki returned to the living room. His eyes, once full of life, were now void as he watched his friend sweeep the glass up.

 

“I also worked with the CCG as an assistant investigator.”

 

Those words caused Kaneki to pause. “That's how I found out Hinami's identity...but I figured out the others were ghouls on my own. Sorry...I haven't told them anything, and I won't hurt Hinami. I can tell she's important to you.”

 

“Hide...why would you join the CCG_”

 

“To find you.” Hide admitted. “That was the only way...I guess.” He laughed. “I'm so stupid.”

 

“Hide.” Kaneki's voice regained that foreboding tone. “You have to quit.”

 

“I already said I wouldn't_”

 

“Don't you get it? If the CCG finds out that you know about us and didn't any thing, you can be killed for treason! Also, the CCG goes against tough ghouls...scary ghouls! Hide I just can't bear the idea that you may be hurt because of it. Because of me.” Kaneki began to sweep again. “I can't lose you...I know it's selfish, but please quit the CCG.”

 

Hide remained motionless on the couch for a few more seconds until he hugged the pillow. “Okay.” He muttered. 

 

“Okay.” Kaneki returned the smile. “Give me a few seconds.” He vanished for a while and returned with one of Hide's first aid kits. After a bit of pleading on Hide's part, Kaneki found himself dabbing alcohol on the blond's arms and feet. “I know it hurts Hide.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Hide took a deep breath. “Yeah...yeah...” He closed his eyes. “It just stings, be...gentle.”

 

“You weren't gentle when you gave yourself these cuts...” Kaneki actually sounded angry. “Or when you drank_”

 

“Don't start.” Hide snapped.

 

“I know, I just...”

 

“Kaneki, we each have our own ways of coping.” Hide grew defensive. “Just keep in mind that while you had your friends to make you feel better...I had no one. I was alone, drinking just made me feel better...”

 

Kaneki didn't know what to say as he finished bandaging up his friend's wounds. Hide, noticing how weird he made things only laughed. “It must suck being here with me right? When you can be having fun...Sorry for officially screwing up your Christmas.”

 

Kaneki shrugged. “Don't think about it Hide.” Silence ensued as Hide's wounds were being clean. It was as if the silence served as saving grace for the two. None dared to speak. 

 

And in all honesty, Kaneki was having one of the best Christmases ever. Just being here, patching up his broken friend was the best thing that had happened to him in almost a year. He still felt as guilty as hell, and he knew that he hadn't even begun to fully apologize for what he had done, but this was a start.

 

“Remember when we were younger...” Hide began, breaking the silence. “we'd go the the fireworks show on Christmas Eve?”

 

Kaneki's mind drifted a few years back. He vaguely remembered trying to see the fireworks erupt in the Christmas eve sky. He hadn't seen the Christmas Eve fireworks in years but he could hear them sometimes.

 

“Yeah.” He replied. “I remember having to shove past people in order to see fire works.. It was pretty annoying.”

 

“Annoying...” Hide repeated, gazing at his foot on top of Kaneki's lap.

 

_That's it._ A more positive voice cooed.  _That's it...the fireworks show..._ “Hide, can we go out for Christmas Eve.”

 

The blond laughed. “I can't really walk.” He replied, pointing at his feet. “Remember, glass?”

 

“Oh yeah.” Kaneki sighed in defeat, however, another idea popped up in his head. “Wait a second....” Again Kaneki sprung from the couch and vanished, returning with a white scarf from Hide's room.

 

“What's that for...”

 

“Just trust me.” Kaneki spoke as he tied the scarf around his friend's eyes. “No peeking and hold on to me, okay?”

 

“O...okay.” Hide sounded unsure as Kaneki picked him up with ease. “Where are we going?” He gripped on to what he could feel. “Kaneki.”

 

“It's a surprise.” By this time, Kaneki stood on the apartment rail. He remembered exactly where the fireworks were deployed. He also remembered exactly where the two would go as kids but that night, Kaneki had a different plan.

 

“I'm just a little scared...that's all.” Hide admitted feeling a heavy amount of air brush past his face. Kaneki had already ejected his Kagune, allowing himself the ability to climb up trees, houses and eventually large establishments. Jumping from place to place also came in handy, as he nearly reached his destination. 

 

The tallest building in that area, faced opposite to the location of the fireworks. When Kaneki finally landed on the top, he set Hide down and with drew the scarf covering his eyes. When the blond saw just how high up the two were, he nearly screamed.

 

“Kan...Kaneki! How the hell did we get up here?” He nervously grabbed on to Kaneki's arm like a life source. “Kaneki!?”

 

“I'm a ghoul, remember. Kagune...” He smiled, pulling Hide closer.

 

“Oh...yeah...” The blond sighed, trying to remain calm. “I guess I just...”

 

They heard it before they saw it.

 

A loud pop shaking both of them, then, hundreds of feet in front of them, an explosion of beautiful colors executed itself for mere seconds before vanishing, and being replaced by another. This night, it seemed as if the two could practically touch them. Never had they been this close to the fireworks.

 

“Kaneki...you...” Hide's eyes looked like flying saucers. 

 

“I wanted you to have the best view.” Kaneki smiled. “You deserve it.”

 

“You didn't have to.”

 

“But I did. And I needed to.”

 

Things got a bit quieter, save for the fireworks. Hide eventually got the strength to let go of Kaneki and scoot a few inches away. As his legs dangled off the ledge of the tall building, he stared at the fireworks with a curiosity of a child's. He seemed so at peace, so happy, as if nothing could ruin his serenity. Bright colors reflected off of his eyes like stars. His face lit up, turning bright red, green and pale white...All the while, he sat there in awe.

 

Kaneki gazed at him silently. 

 

His heart was still conflicted, knowing just how much he disregarded Hide. All these months, Hide had to resort to alcohol to make himself feel better. Kaneki felt like a failure. He'd tried to save and protect everyone else, yet he couldn't even manage to protect Hide. What a pity.

 

That's why, at that moment, he made a new promise to himself. A promise that would end, where it began...a promise to only protect the one he loved, the one he cared for...the one who gave him a reason to live.

 

“Hide...” He spoke gently, feeling his heart thump with every second that went by. 

 

“Yeah...” Hide took his eyes from the loud fire works and gazed at Kaneki. “Is everything okay_”

 

Kaneki inched forward and softly placed his lips upon Hide's. For a few seconds, Hide sat there like a baffled idiot. However, he eventually melted into the kiss, returning it with a force that attempted to compete with Kaneki's.

 

Kaneki, getting slightly hasty, pushed Hide down upon the building's roof and crawled on top of him. As his kagune casually rolled out of his back, he began to tug and pull at Hide's clothes. The two fought for a while over who would be taking off what until Kaneki finally succeeded in pulling Hide's shirt over his arms. 

 

“Kan...eki...” After Hide had caught his breath, he gently pushed Kaneki and his kagune away. “We can't do this here...”

 

Kaneki, who stole one final kiss sat up. “Sorry, I guess I went over board.” Hide sat up and crawled over to him, hugging him from behind. 

 

“It's fine.”

 

The fire works continued as both lovers stared in complete silence.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

 

 

The next morning, Hide woke up on his couch, tangled in both Kaneki's arms and Kagune. After marveling over the red, leather and scale like organ, Hide forced himself from the couch and quickly limped to his bed room where he withdrew a medium sized box with a bow on it.

 

He jumped on Kaneki to wake him up. The first thing that reacted was his kagune, and then, he eventually opened his eyes.

 

“Merry Christmas Kaneki!” Hide sat on top of him, holding the box in his hands. “This was for your birthday but...”

 

“Yeah I know.” Kaneki sat up, shifting their positions so that Hide was in his lap. His kagune eventually vanished. “Thank you though. And merry Christmas.” He took the box in his hand and softly ripped open the paper. He nearly screamed when he saw his book. “This is...Kafka's...”

 

“That's what you wanted right?” Hide asked. 

 

“Yes! How did you...never mind, don't answer.” They both laughed as Kaneki wrapped his arms around Hide. “Thank you Hide...and, um...close your eyes...”

 

Hide giggled and did as he was told. Moments later, he felt a slip of paper fall upon his lap. “Open.” Hide opened his eyes and took the paper in his hands.

 

“What is this...?” It looked like a ticket almost...well it was a ticket. A plane ticket. To America....Only Kaneki knew how obssessed Hide was with America...

 

“Kaneki is this...?” He gazed at Kaneki who held a ticket of his own.

 

“Two plane tickets to America. A three week trip, and I've already got everything planned for us. All that's left is for you to sit back and enjoy_” Hide jumped on Kaneki and pulled him into a tight embrace. “I know how much you love America and you've always wanted to go. So I had to do this. I pulled some strings here and there but...it was worth it.” Kaneki wrapped his arms around Hide. “Merry Christmas...and I'm sorry. I hope you can forgive me...Hide I love you so much.”

 

“Thank you.” Hide whispered. “And I was never angry...Merry Christmas Kaneki. And I love you too.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas! I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas!


End file.
